Behavioural Tendencies of Lower Commune Residents with Focus on Frequency of Alcohol Consumption

There’s an interesting pattern of behaviour that has established itself amongst Lower Commune residents.

It seems to start like this:

Subject A arrives home following a bad day at work.

A bad mood is inevitable.

Occasionally this bad mood is compounded by a) Mondays, b) other monthly occurrences, c) personal baggage, d) nasty surprises, or e) all of the above*

Subject A’s bad mood is characterized by such symptoms as a furrowed brow, lack of reapplication of makeup or other negligence of personal hygiene, donning of pyjama pants within five minutes of reentering house, and, especially the frequent emission of a noise best likened to the intolerable drone of a dozen lazy hornets (henceforth “bitching“).

Subject A usually engages in this behaviour at some length, while Subject B nods politely but basically (and wisely) ignores Subject A.

It seems to end like this:

Subject B, unable to tolerate the bitching any longer, says these words: “Do you want a beer?”

Subject A always replies with “Yes, please. Thank god.”

And the Lower Commune is in harmony once more.

*i.e. Today.