This has Always Bothered Me About Beauty and the Beast

These following are snippets of a conversation yesterday with Dr. Roommate, regarding the Disney classic, Beauty and the Beast:

Me: I’d be like, “Yay, I don’t have to serve you anymore! You know why? Because I’m a f*****g candlestick because of you, you stupid d*****bag!” Then I’d waddle into town and haunt people.

Dr. Roommate: We all know that all Lumiere cares about is sex anyway.

Me: God, that must be frustrating for him!

Dr. Roommate: Yeah, with no penis. But who knows what goes on under that candlestick holder.

It all began as Dr. Roommate mentioned how weird she suddenly realized it was that Mrs. Potts actually boils tea inside herself then serves it to Belle. ‘It’s sick when you think about it,’ she said, ‘It’s like Mrs. Potts excreting bodily fluid.’

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