There’s nothing more useless than unsolicited advice.
I was going to preface that with When you’re young, but it’s really applicable to all ages. Unsolicited advice simply comes at a much greater frequency when you’re young.
As I age (like a slowly ripening then rotting apple; that is the metaphor I’ve chosen to age by), I understand this frequency. You get very caught up in feeling that you’ve finally figured somethings out. You feel wise at last. You’ve deconstructed the follies of your youth and learned from them. And thus the desire to share that wisdom is strong.
But don’t. Just… don’t. You cannot really be wise with your advice unless you know whether or not people want it. Do not forget when you were young and people tried to give you advice. There’s a fine line between advice and decree.
The first date Husband and I went on was not actually a date but rather more like a premise for a terrible Christmas movie.
It was two years ago. We were roommates at the time and still referred to one another, “My roommate, Gregg–” or “Me and Boy Roommate–.” We never quite reached the “My friend, Ashleigh–” phase.
The not-a-date was a couple of weeks before Christmas and took place on a Saturday. Neither of us can recall who first came up with the idea to go Christmas shopping downtown, but onwards we went, bundled up in toques and scarves and gloves. All afternoon, we wandered in and out of shops, cracking jokes in the comic book store, making rude gestures with nutcrackers in Cookworks, railing against the establishment outside department store windows, and lingering a bit too long in the bookstore. We didn’t buy a thing.
The most common question heard by newlyweds: “How’s married life?” Answer: “Good.”
The second-most-common: “How does it feel to be married?” That one is a little harder to respond to. Usually, I will say, “Just the same as before.” But that’s not necessarily true. There is a difference I was not expecting. Mostly, it’s in how the rest of the world views us, as though we’re taken more seriously or something, but there’s an element I found indefinable.
But then a co-worker asked this question, and when I struggled to reply she just smiled and said: “It’s just nice knowing that somebody loves you that much, isn’t it?”