Hello February, You Cruel Bitch

February has always been that shitty little month, just sort of stuck into the year, like some form of placeholder text. Something just to fill the void between January and March. I mean, can we even consider it a real month? It only has 28 days. Except for Leap Years – which seem like a cheap gimmick, like cheesy Christmas episodes of a generic sitcom. It’s like February 29th is not a real day. I can’t seem to consider it canon. It’s like “Extended Universe”; a bad fanfic; or an unnecessary director’s cut.

Anyway, this isn’t a leap year, so no concerns about that now. February sucks anyway. The weather’s always bad, at least here in Vancouver. Not winter, not spring. Just extra rain and cold. And grey, grey, grey. There’s nothing appealing about it. Most people commit suicide in the spring – probably because they’ve been contemplating it since February.

True, February is Black History Month, which rather than make me feel better about February, makes me feel worse for Black History. If you’re going to dedicate a month to something important, giving it the shortest, shittiest month is a bit of a slap in the face. It’s like badly executed appeasement. Like handing a candy bar to a child, but taking a huge, slobbery bite out of it first.

And Valentine’s Day. Don’t get me started. And Groundhog Day.. what a joke.

Oh, February, please don’t suck this year, too. The only thing you’ve got going for you is more Lost. That’s sad.